I'll start by letting you know some unique things about my mom. I don't know quite how she did it, but from a very young age she made us strong. She gave me, and my siblings, tools to face the world head on. She started teaching when we were so young I don't remember, but it's affected us for life. She often had to bear a heavy burden. Sometimes she struggled, but she came out on top, and so did we. With that being said, I have a few thoughts on what I think Mother's Day should and should not be.
I've always had mixed feelings about Mother's Day. On the one hand, it can be a positive thing: a great opportunity to show appreciation for hard-working moms. On the other hand, it can be just a shallow, commercial spend-money day... or worse, a NEGATIVE thing. It can become a day of anger, loneliness, and enmity.
To be honest, Mother's Day was hard for me as a teenager. I worked hard caring for people who needed mothering. It was my number one priority for as far back as I can remember. I cared for my brother to the point that I truly felt like he was my own baby. I was a mother through and through, but I didn't have my OWN children. At church people went out of their way to acknowledge women who could not or had not yet had children as mothers to the world, which I thought was very thoughtful. However, I was not included in this because I was not technically an adult. I guess only adults can be mothers. I felt left out. It's not that I necessarily wanted a special treat or card or even recognition. I just got really sick of being treated like some pampered, ungrateful, useless teenager. I got tired of being told just HOW MUCH my mom did for me and how much I didn't realize it. I agreed that my mom and others needed recognition. I did, in fact, have a general idea of how much my mom did for me. I knew that when I left for school or activities, she was the one who stayed behind and continued being a mother.
My feelings on Mother's Day caused more conflict in my mind because I believe that Mother's Day should never be about ME. I felt guilty for ever thinking of myself, because a mother is selfless. I committed early on that, when I had my own family, I'd never be jealous and angry if I didn't get what I wanted on Mother's Day. It should be a happy day. I decided that if my future husband or children forgot or ignored Mother's Day, I wouldn't even care because I'd be busy appreciating other moms. Yes, it's a nice thought, but I doubt many of us are quite THAT selfless yet! I know that of course we all have some self-centered thoughts. That's ok, because we're not perfect. I also know that children, and some men, need to be taught about what to do on Mother's Day. I think it's completely appropriate to remind a husband, in a loving way, that his support would be appreciated and that the children may need his help with something special.
Anyway, the important messages I want to get across here are, first, remember to recognize the "Other Mothers" in your life. Look hard, because they (like any mother) are often quietly behind the scenes. And second, Mother's Day isn't about YOU getting recognition. It's an opportunity for you to GIVE recognition to those who mothered you or those around you. It's nice to relax and enjoy your well-earned holiday for mothers, just PLEASE don't turn it into a day of hate and anger.
Here's to a day full of joy, remembrance, and relationships made stronger.
I've always had mixed feelings about Mother's Day. On the one hand, it can be a positive thing: a great opportunity to show appreciation for hard-working moms. On the other hand, it can be just a shallow, commercial spend-money day... or worse, a NEGATIVE thing. It can become a day of anger, loneliness, and enmity.
To be honest, Mother's Day was hard for me as a teenager. I worked hard caring for people who needed mothering. It was my number one priority for as far back as I can remember. I cared for my brother to the point that I truly felt like he was my own baby. I was a mother through and through, but I didn't have my OWN children. At church people went out of their way to acknowledge women who could not or had not yet had children as mothers to the world, which I thought was very thoughtful. However, I was not included in this because I was not technically an adult. I guess only adults can be mothers. I felt left out. It's not that I necessarily wanted a special treat or card or even recognition. I just got really sick of being treated like some pampered, ungrateful, useless teenager. I got tired of being told just HOW MUCH my mom did for me and how much I didn't realize it. I agreed that my mom and others needed recognition. I did, in fact, have a general idea of how much my mom did for me. I knew that when I left for school or activities, she was the one who stayed behind and continued being a mother.
My feelings on Mother's Day caused more conflict in my mind because I believe that Mother's Day should never be about ME. I felt guilty for ever thinking of myself, because a mother is selfless. I committed early on that, when I had my own family, I'd never be jealous and angry if I didn't get what I wanted on Mother's Day. It should be a happy day. I decided that if my future husband or children forgot or ignored Mother's Day, I wouldn't even care because I'd be busy appreciating other moms. Yes, it's a nice thought, but I doubt many of us are quite THAT selfless yet! I know that of course we all have some self-centered thoughts. That's ok, because we're not perfect. I also know that children, and some men, need to be taught about what to do on Mother's Day. I think it's completely appropriate to remind a husband, in a loving way, that his support would be appreciated and that the children may need his help with something special.
Anyway, the important messages I want to get across here are, first, remember to recognize the "Other Mothers" in your life. Look hard, because they (like any mother) are often quietly behind the scenes. And second, Mother's Day isn't about YOU getting recognition. It's an opportunity for you to GIVE recognition to those who mothered you or those around you. It's nice to relax and enjoy your well-earned holiday for mothers, just PLEASE don't turn it into a day of hate and anger.
Here's to a day full of joy, remembrance, and relationships made stronger.
